10. Life & Death

Death is such a huge part of life! Cancer is the second leading cause of death and has robbed so many, including me of their family and friends. When I think of all the cancer and other diseases that mine and my husband’s family has been through and what me and my children might possibly face one day is scary. Having said that we cannot live in fear. Fear is of the devil! You know the funny thing is that I recently went to go see a bone doctor (I’m not sure what they are called, an endochrinologist I think). He told me that I indeed have Osteoporosis and the fact that I am only 42 years old and pre-menopausal in which he tells me that I should not have Osteoporosis even though it runs in my family and my disease is partly the reason. Anyway he was telling me that he had something difficult to tell me and he didn’t know how to say it. So of course I’m singing the worst, like I’m going to die is slow and painful death! (Really like I didn’t know that was already happening🙄) I’ve been through a lot and my genes are not the best but as they say “if you’re given lemons, make lemonade”. I have learned in my 42 years of life, that things are not always going to be roses. So you take the good with the bad and go on. And that is what I have learned to do! Having this disease and learning about the effects and experiencing them and learning about the l outcome has put a whole new spin on life.

My grandmother is 90 years old and has Alzheimer’s disease and seeing that up close is just awful and mind boggling. My grandmother had two husbands, the first husband, my father’s father died of cancer and her second husband died of complications from a stroke, I believe. My grandmother and my grandpa worked hard all of their lives. My grandmother’s family came from Sicily and she told me that she only went to school up until grades 6 or 8, but she worked for a paper plant and then her and my grandfather had fields of strawberries. So strawberries were always abundant in our house. She never learned to drive and she still lives in her home with family sitting with her. It is really hard to see someone who has had a very full life and wake up and can’t remember much at all. I cannot imagine going through that. I’ve had quite a few family members on my mom’s side that have died of cancer or other diseases. My mother’s mother died of Ovarian cancer when she was in her 60s and my mom’s dad died, I think, of heart disease when I was in college. I have had several family members on my mom’s side who have died of cancer or other diseases. So I have lost countless family from a young age, which is really hard. It’s probably even harder for the people that have terminal illnesses and they look at me and wonder why with all of my issues, I’m still kicking. I don’t know if anyone actually thinks like that but I can only wonder because being human, even I would think that.

We all know that disease and cancer normally comes with old age, and we’re getting up there in age so obviously our grandparents and other close family are sadly dropping like flies. The saddest part is looking around at family and friends and all that they are going through medically makes you look at your own mortality and going through things like setting up a will, making sure my girls are taken care of and whatever belongings we might have to pass on. I think a lot about where I am going when I die and who’s coming with me. I have my life straight with God and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt where I’m going to spend eternity. Do you???

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