I never thought this would happen to us. The warning signs were there. I knew what was going on in this crazy world we live in, but I guess I was under the impression that we were invincible. I kept thinking well we hardly ever go in the stores and Mark is the cleanest and safest person I know. He washes his hands religiously, so very stupidly I just thought we would never get it. God knew differently and we were about to be taught a lesson that we’ll never forget.
COVID-19 is caused by a coronavirus called SARS-CoV-2. Older adults and people who have severe underlying medical conditions like heart or lung disease or diabetes seem to be at higher risk for developing more serious complications from the COVID-19 illness. COVID-19 affects different people in different ways. Infected people have had a wide range of symptoms reported – from mild symptoms to severe.
Back in March when this illness 1st came about my best friend caught it. I didn’t find out until probably a week and a half after she already had it, but she is a very private person. So that is when everything was getting scary real and we got even more cautious from then on. We had a really rough 2020. First COVID-19 reared its ugly head in March. A very dear friend (that I very much regret not spending enough time with) passed away suddenly. That was in April. We totaled our beloved van in May. We celebrated 18 wonderful years together. On May 12th the day after our anniversary, Mark’s Granny passed away from Ovarian cancer. We had a pretty uneventful summer. In September as if we weren’t busy enough, we decided to homeschool our oldest daughter (which is something that I always wanted to do). In October my 91 year old grandmother, who had Alzheimer’s, died after dealing with that for two years. The government had broken up dealing with the pandemic in phases and by October, I believe we were in Phase 3, which meant you could gather with crowds of 100 and less and we still had to wear face masks and doctors offices were not seeing children unless the illness was severe. And if a child had to go and see a doctor or go to the Hospital in the case of an emergency, only one parent was allowed to go in with the child. So when we had our car accident in May, I was the only one who needed to go to the hospital to get checked out. I went by ambulance and no one was allowed to go with me and my husband couldn’t even come meet me at the hospital. It was a horrible experience but I do understand the guidelines.
So onto November! The first weekend in November we had a yard sale with my husband’s brother and sister-in-law. It went kind of good even though the weather was awful. The next Sunday, November 15th, my oldest daughter sang a solo at church to one of my favorite Praise and Worship songs “At the Cross”! My parents came to church that morning to watch their granddaughter sing. Several from my extended family also came. Supposedly the COVID-19 numbers had gone up in Louisiana and we were about to be put back to Phase 1. I didn’t understand it then but I do now. That was the last Sunday that we went to church for a while.
The following Thursday the 19th Mark went to church to meet the pastor’s wife to get a bag of goodies for our family. Well later that evening, Mark was unusually tired and I remember asking if we should put off our trip to Houston. We really didn’t want to put off the trip because we were planning on staying a whole week in Texas so we could make some extra cash for Christmas. The next morning he felt better and we were just chalking up his tiredness to him doing so much and not getting nearly enough sleep. I had been having migraines like all week and my lower back started hurting. Mark had started feeling like hisself Saturday and Sunday we left for Texas.
We arrived at Mark’s mother’s house late so we unloaded the car and got ready for bed. Mark had some paperwork to do for a closing he had after we got back home, so for most of the day we just lounged around the house and around 5, Mark and I went to go do some DoorDash. And it wasn’t long after we started to DoorDash that I started getting tired and my back was starting to hurt again. At about 6:30 I was feeling achy and tired and Mark started feeling bad and tired and coughing a lot. So we decided to call it quits and go back to Mark’s mom’s, but I was feeling so crappy so I had Mark stop at a Dollar General and get me some soup. When we got back to his mom’s, Mark heated up my soup and I was eating it and then he decided to take his temperature and it was 101.9. At that moment we were like oh crap we have to go!
We were thinking he had Covid and we started feeling like crap because we were like, “We shouldn’t have even come”. We did not want the girls or his Mom and stepdad to get it. Mark’s stepdad was trying to convince us to go get a hotel room but we were pretty adamant about leaving! We were really worried about the kids catching it so we decided to leave them in Texas. That was extremely hard on me because Sofia is only four and has never been that far from home and we had no idea what our near future would hold. We had recently had a discussion with Maggie about how horrible and deadly the virus could be. On our way out the door our kids are trying to hug us and Mark’s mom and stepdad kept yelling at Sofia not to touch daddy. So I get one of her famous side hugs and Maggie followed us to the car. Maggie came around to my side of the car and asked me if she could hug me and not really worried that I might pass something on, I was like absolutely. I just thought you know what I am leaving my kids and I’m not going to not hug my daughter, who I knew was freaking out. I hugged her and then kissed her head and Mark helped me in the car. When he was putting the wheelchair in the trunk, Maggie was standing outside his door with tears streaming down her face. That was about the hardest thing possible because I couldn’t go to her and comfort her.
We started driving home and Mark kept having to stop and sleep because he was so tired. He would start driving again and have to roll down the window to help him breathe. We finally made it home in the wee hours of the morning on Tuesday, November 22nd. The first thing that Mark did when he woke up later that morning was to make an appointment with our doctor to get tested for the Coronavirus. At that point he wasn’t really coughing much and didn’t feel that bad but he went ahead and made the appointment for 1 p.m. and asked me if I wanted to get tested also and I said no because I felt fine by then. We had a pretty good suspicion that the test would be positive but wasn’t sure because he wasn’t feeling that bad Tuesday and we were thinking that whatever it was, was going away. So when we woke up Wednesday morning I was anxious to find out how he feeling. I thought he should be feeling better by now. Unfortunately I was wrong. That’s when we got the call confirming that he was positive for covid.
So he wound up calling his father later that evening because he needed some cough medicine and told him that his test came back positive so when he brought the medicine to the house that he needed to wear a mask and don’t get too close. So all Wednesday he was trying not to talk so much, because talking made him cough really bad. So late Wednesday afternoon he called his dad again and asked him to go get him a pulse ox, so he could measure his oxygen levels. I remember him saying OMG dad you paid that much, until he started coughing and couldn’t breathe. So late that evening he was bringing me to the bathroom and every time he picked-me-up he started coughing really bad. He then pulled down the portable fan and put it in his face so he could get air into his lungs. I felt horrible and there was absolutely nothing I could do to help him.
It was Thursday, November 24th, Thanksgiving Day and what a crazy day it turned out to be. The day started off not that horrible, my mom came over in full PPE and gave Mark a nebulizer to help with his breathing and she also brought us some Thanksgiving dinner. Mark and I ate it and he told me that he couldn’t taste it but he could taste the sweetness in the sweet potato crunch. Later that evening Mark had brought me to the bathroom and of course had a horrible coughing fit. He kept yanking down the fan and putting it in his face so he could breathe and at that point he was using the pulse ox and it was dangerously low. His dad was staying with us at that point to help however he could. It was probably around 8:30 pm and Mark was at the point to where he was needing to go to the hospital. (With my disease, I would hardly ever talk on the phone; not with doctor offices, not to friends, or not even family. I had just got so tired of hearing, I can’t understand you., Can you repeat that?, or my favorite What did she say?) So unfortunately Mark was the one who called the hospital. Before he called 911, he was constantly hesitating because he was afraid to leave me. I called my sister-in-law and was on the phone with her and told her that Mark was going to the hospital and I was crying on the phone with her and she probably could not understand a word I was saying and she kept saying that he needed to go to get help and then shamefully I said through tears, “What is going to happen to me?” And then she told me don’t worry, I am coming home. Which happened to be from Mississippi just to help me go to the bathroom and then go back to bed. Thanksgiving just went from bad to worse!
My best friend, my soulmate, my lover, the father of my children, my husband just left me to go get better. I was alone, even though my father-in-law was with me. I just kept thinking, what is going to happen, and how can I survive without him? So I was sobbing and in a daze and I knew I had to be the one to tell friends and family and our pastor. So that night and in between tears, while I was waiting on help from my sister-in-law, I started texting everyone that I knew to text. Ironically to me everyone kept asking if I was okay and who was with me. I was never worried about the virus affecting me and quite frankly I am still not worried for me. Anyway shortly after Mark left in the ambulance I got a call from my sister-in-law Stephanie, one of the girls we raised. I remember the conversation quite vividly and she asked about Mark and I asked her, “How do you know anything?” And she said, “How do you think I know, D’ann told me.” Understanding dawned on me. She said I’m coming home tomorrow and then I will be there. I wasn’t sure what that meant and at that point, I didn’t care about much. I feel bad saying that now because looking back Stephanie was my rock during all this. I mean my sister-in-law Shuwana was coming in a little while to help me in the bathroom and bed. My father-in-law wasn’t going anywhere but I never did feel comfortable with him helping me in the bathroom. The thing was that no one knew if I had it and they had to protect themselves. And even though they helped me to the bathroom and bed, no one would touch me. I was so distraught and crying my eyes out and all I wanted was for someone to hug me and tell me everything was going to be okay even though we had no idea of the outcome.
I was craving human comfort. Every time someone would come into my room and talk to me I would break down and start crying. Someone would pat my arm and back and that was about it. I talked to Mark on the phone while he was in the ER and I remember feeling so guilty and telling him that I was sorry because if it wasn’t for him helping me then he wouldn’t have gotten so bad. I never did much on Friday except for crying a lot and answering texts. I didn’t know how long Mark would be in the hospital so I stayed in my room and in the bed for the whole time that Mark was home and up until the first Saturday when he first went to the hospital. I just felt like it would be too much on everyone if they were toting me back and forth across the house.
Okay side note. I’m sure that many are under the impression that I take a lot of prescription medicine for my disease. However that is not case. I do take prescription medication for pain because of breaking my hip and me being in a wheelchair and not moving my legs around. So I also take a muscle relaxer when I take the pain medication. And I normally only take it late in the afternoon and at bedtime. This is just so I’m not chasing the pain with the medicine. So anyway on that Friday my sister-in-law Shuwana was here for pretty much the whole day. We used my walker to get me back and forth from the bathroom to the bed. It was extremely depressing being in my room. My father-in-law was cooking for me but I had such trouble eating. Mainly because I was feeling so alone, my children were in Texas for I didn’t know how long, and my husband was trying to get better to come home. So I really just ate to stay alive. I had no appetite and what little weight I had started coming off. Not that I wanted it to. But I was so distraught that it was even hard for me to pick up a fork or a sandwich and put it to my mouth.
So around 8:00 that Friday evening I realized out of the blue that I hadn’t taken any pain medication and I was freaking out because when that happens, I am in immense pain and the only thing that helps is to get in a warm bath. Well I took all my medicine and laid down to watch a little TV. Somewhere around 9:30 that evening the pain started in my legs. My sister-in-law had already left so I texted my father-in-law exactly what medication I needed and where it was. The pain was getting worse and my father-in-law wound up calling Mark in the hospital and trying to find out where my medicine was. It seemed like forever to get me medicine and I was trying to get some relief by sitting up leaning over to stretch my legs and nothing was helping. And I got on the phone with Mark and was crying in pain and I remember telling him I have to get in the bathtub. He said how are you going to do that with my father there? And I said I have a bra on and shorts so I will just get in the tub like that. And I had no idea what I would do after but I really didn’t care at that point. So Mark’s dad put me in the bathtub and ran some very warm water and then he started massaging my legs so I would get some relief. When the water was covering my legs, I had him turn the water off and by then the pain was easing up and the medicine was finally kicking in.
So what was I going to do now, I had no idea. Unbeknownst to me Mark had called someone and was trying to get one of the four girls (that we raised) to come over and help me wash up and get out. So Rita showed up in full PPE! And it had been about a week before I even got a chance to get my hair washed. Taking for granted those little luxuries. She washed and blow dryed my hair and it was so wonderful. At the same time, it was awful because my husband was not the one helping me do those things. I wound up not getting back to bed until way after midnight, so I slept late the next morning.
Stephanie was there when I woke up and I felt a huge weight lift off of my shoulders kinda. I felt better because she was there and that everything was going to be okay. (Stephanie and I have always been close and she has been with me during some really rough and some really awesome times.) She brought me into the living room and very slowly I started to feel more like things were trying to get back to normal.
I may have my days screwed up because after Mark went in the hospital everything kind of started to run together. From that day on Mark’s aunt Nita, Stephanie, Mark’s Dad, and so many others came to help. They were taking care of me and my house and cleaning my house and doing my laundry and pretty much doing everything that Mark does on a regular basis. It was hard on people who came here and had children and husbands who gave up time with their families to help us out. Public school was back in, so things started to get a little difficult on everyone else. I kept getting text messages from Mark about how he was doing. Somewhere between Saturday and Monday the text messages stopped and we were only getting updates from the hospital usually once a day. That was difficult because I really couldn’t hear all that well on the phone and I felt like I had to have an interpreter right there to tell me everything they were saying. One of Stephanie’s good friends was one of Mark’s nurses so that kind of made me feel a little better, having someone on the inside. When we lost communication with Mark it seemed like everything went from bad to worse. I spent my days staring at the walls with no TV on and not really anyone talking to me and not because they didn’t want to but because I wouldn’t talk. All I would do was stare up at the ceiling and cry. I felt like I was just going through the motions to get through the day. I would get up, get dressed, eat breakfast, go to the couch, read or text, drink water, go to the bathroom, and so on. It was the same routine day in and day out. The people that were staying and helping would change but not much else. My children were in Texas and from what I would get from Mark’s mom’s text messages, was that the kids were having fun. And I know that wasn’t totally the case. Maggie was almost 11 and extremely smart and aware. She knew what was going on. I remember one day Steph came in the living room and sat by me on the couch and said to me, “what are you thinking?” And then”why won’t you talk to me? What are you feeling?” I couldn’t put into words what I was feeling or thinking. (One of the doctors called and was pretty negative and not encouraging at all and when I hung up the phone, I just cried my eyes out and Mark’s Aunt Nita talked to me and told me that Mark was going to be okay and that he had so much to live for and to come back home for. And then she said we’re just not going to listen to that doctor; he is a jerk and we are going to listen to the other nurses that are way more down to earth. She made me feel so much better.) Back to Steph’s questions, I felt like my world was ending and there wasn’t a whole lot left for me. I had my kids but they weren’t even with me and so I wasn’t really focused on them. I talked to them on FaceTime a couple of times but I couldn’t really do a whole lot of talking. It was great to see them but just not the same. Christmas was coming and I hadn’t even gotten the kids anything yet and I really didn’t want to shop online until I knew for a fact that Mark was coming home.
So I had a scheduled doctors appointment with a new neurologist, that my
GP was sending me to. So Aunt Nita and Stephanie called the new doctor to let them know what was going on and they decided to do a phone appointment instead. Mark’s aunt and Stephanie were trying to get me as much help around the house that Medicaid would pay for. But looking back that is not at all what I would want. It was killing me that everyone else was doing what my husband would do for me and that was so very depressing. And it was pretty bad when I was dealing with the fact that I was getting not great reports from the hospital and my kids were not with me. I was really struggling with just existing and I felt like I had no purpose and was a huge burden to everyone. That first week and a half was the hardest and I had found out after he came home that Mark coded that first week and that was when communication with him was lost. That was the hardest time for me because I was struggling to just go on. When Mark was in the hospital they diagnosed him with double COVID pneumonia and his lungs were severely infected. So he had a really long way to go. While all this was going on I had to remain somewhat with it to oversee a major closing Mark had scheduled for the beginning of December. It all started going down south the day he went in the hospital. I got the text before he read it so I didn’t tell him about it because he was so bad at the moment. So when he went in the hospital, he had finally read the text and immediately called me and started freaking out because we were about to lose a huge commission that we were waiting on to get us through the holidays and the next few months. I was freaking out but trying not to let it show because I didn’t want him stressing, so when he went in the hospital I got a hold of one his brokers and she told me that KW would take care of everything. That was such a huge relief than I wouldn’t have to worry about how the bills were getting paid for the next couple of months I felt all we had to focus on was Mark getting better and coming home.
Stephanie and Aunt Nita were the main ones here who basically cleaned up my dirty house and most of the time I was sitting on the couch and returning texts. There were so many family, friends, church family, and a lot of people we don’t even know that were praying for all of us. I had started to be at peace because even though everything seemed so messed up I knew deep down in my heart that God had our backs and everything was going to be okay.
The beginning of the week before the kids came home, I had my video appointment with my new neurologist. So when I was talking to the doctor about my migraines and obviously it’s in my chart that I have FA. So I was going through the whole spiel about my background and the first thing the doctor wanted to do was change my migraine medication. But the biggest part of the whole video session, which was not even why I started out seeing this doctor, he asked me why I was not in therapy. Well that’s a whole new issue because Medicaid does not pay for anything and that doctor said, you don’t worry about Medicaid, I’ll make them pay. So he set the ball rolling for me to get physical, occupational, and speech therapy. I was a little nervous about speech beecause in my mind they were saying that my speech was so bad that I needed to work on it. So they scheduled me to come in to Neurocare in Covington after my quarantine was over. I was so happy that things were finally going in a positive direction and Mark was slowly on his way to getting better and coming home.
On December 5th I had gotten word that Mark’s mother and stepfather had Covid also and so did my kids. The girls had it but were fine and no symptoms so after talking to Mark, he and I both decided that that the kids needed to come home. His mother was really sick and her husband was also sick, so they really didn’t need to be taking care of my kids when I was fine and there was plenty of help here. So Stephanie my father-in-law and me loaded up that afternoon and drove to Texas to bring them home. I have never been more happy to see them. I will never lose my title of being mother to them but when they weren’t with me and all this was going on, it got so hard and I was so ready to be more involved with them. So we brought them home and it was late at night when we got in, so we all went to sleep. The next morning was Sunday and Aunt Nita suggested we bring the kids to get retested along with myself. So we drove to Lallie Kemp and got tested. That was an awful process because Sofia just cried and cried. So we went about our day and on Tuesday afternoon I got a call with the results. Maggie and I were positive but Sofia was negative. So we were told that Maggie and I were to quarantine for ten more days. This was getting ridiculous because I didn’t show any signs and Maggie didn’t either. At this point I was talking to Mark daily and he was getting better but it seemed like every time he would start to talk, he would have to hang up because his coughing was so bad. I was thinking will this ever end and will he ever come home? I felt like the only thing I could tell the kids and they kept asking, “Is that Daddy?, Is he getting better?”. It wasn’t a lie but I was constantly thinking when will it end.
Yes, on December 12th, Mark finally did come home. He was on oxygen for quite a while and had to move slow to fully recover. That was hard on him because he was used to doing everything. Which included cooking and cleaning and now he added in exercising and eating right. I cannot even express how ecstatic I was that my husband was finally coming home. He walked in the door and came to me and I hugged him and did not want to let go. My heart was overflowing!
I knew in my heart that God would bring him back but my flesh had a really hard time believing that would happen. We still needed a lot of help around the house but Mark being home was the answer to my prayers!
The story does not end here. COVID-19 had some major lasting effects on our family but God has really used this and taught me so much. I am forever grateful for this horrible struggle, it has brought us all on top and closer to Him. Stay tuned because this is only part 1 of the story, see how God really works in my life!