My grandmother on my dad’s side is 90 years old and has Alzheimer’s. This is an awful disease to watch someone go thorough.
My grandmother was a very hard-working woman, who worked hard to help my Grandfather put food on the table. She helped my parents with us three kids, however she was not an affectionate woman. I don’t remember hugs, kisses, or I love yous. We knew that she loved us because of the things she did for us. I may be wrong about her being affectionate but I just really don’t remember.
My husband and I have been going over to her house for about five months now and sitting with her during the day to give my parents a break. You see my parents live next door and even though she has three kids, since my parents are right next door to my grandmother and since my dad is the oldest boy it is automatically assumed that he and my mom would take over the majority of her care. Even though her eldest daughter and younger son do help. My grandmother’s niece lives with her so someone is with her at night. It’s really a full time job in itself. It’s hard to watch her change from the woman who was so strong and took care of everyone and now to watch her deteriorate into nothing is heartwrenching.
It’s quite funny being with her sometimes because the simplest things amuse her, and it’s funny in a way but at the same time it is so saddening just seeing what her brain is doing to her. Like a pack of baby wipes, she will ask my husband,”What is this Mark?” and he says, “Well they’re wipes so you can clean the baby.” and she says, “So you just press this button and it pops open!”, and she goes, ” Oh my goodness well would you look at that!” and starts cracking up! That is the funny part about Alzheimer’s and at the same time it is very sad! We take for granted how our mind works and how much she’s lost; like she doesn’t remember when she ate, if she had a good nights rest which she usually doesn’t because she’s up all night. And that frustrates everyone around her but it’s not her fault!
My grandmother has always been a very clean person. We would get off the school bus at her house and then sit on the floor in front of the TV and eat a snack before doing our homework, and after that snack she would scrub our hands and the floor where we ate. We would always say that you could eat dinner off of her floor because it was so clean! LOL! Well even with the Alzheimer’s she is always wiping up something and it’s not as sanitary as it used be but it’s amazing what sticks with you!Another side of this awful disease is dealing with anger and ugliness! My grandmother can be the sweetest person one minute and cussing up a blue streak the next. What I have to keep telling myself when I witness and I have witnessed several times those angry outbursts is that it is just the disease. And it is really rough on people who do not understand the disease and yes, my dad and other family members have said that she was meaner when she was younger. But that is okay because she is old, extremely old and to think of the kind of life she is living with, I can sometimes understand that anger. I always wonder what kind of day we’re in for when we go sit with her. Like if she slept well, will she be in a good mood, or will she be in a bad mood cussing like a Russian sailor??? Will she remember us? She always remembers my husband, Mark. But all in one day I’ve been her granddaughter, her niece, my husband’s daughter, and my husband’s wife. Then she has those days where she’ll wake from a nap and is totally confused, not knowing where she is or who anyone is and that is hard to see and, I can’t imagine what is going through her head.
I’m going to end with these words. When your kids are young, treat them and everyone else around the way you would like to be treated when you are old and needing care because they will be the ones to wipe your butt, so to speak, and take care of you!
My grandmother passed at 91 in her home surrounded by family on October 20, 2020.